Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
