he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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