Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize