She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize