Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
