Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
