I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
