Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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