alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
