And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
