Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
