I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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