i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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