We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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