i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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