I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
