she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Im just a social blackout drinker.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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