she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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