Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
