Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me š
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Do you realize we were driving someone elseās car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. Thatās NOT normal
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being āgoodā and 10 being ābanging a studentās fatherā, how bad is it that Iām banging a studentās father?
Randomize
