You work out of a Hotel?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
