So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
