I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
