you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
