so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
