Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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