Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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