it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
