What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
