: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just blew my weed a kiss
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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