Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
