Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
