im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
