Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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