Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
