There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
