the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
