So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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