So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
