so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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