oh god the rape fog is back!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
