if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
