Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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