Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
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Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
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I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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