We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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