Please, let me fuck your mom
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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