yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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