Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
