There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
