booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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