Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
