How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
