if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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