Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
