I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
