Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
