I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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