My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
