BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
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It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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