she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
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Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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