do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize