i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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