There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize