He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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