How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize
