when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
