He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Randomize
