im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
