1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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