a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
